It was girls night and we were partying it up at the badlander, I saw you a couple times on the dancefloor with your slip on crocs and your mom jeans hiked all the way up to your uterus. You took my red neck marb tinted breath away. The ladies and I started drinking shots of R and R when I saw you pick a wedgie and crawl your sexy ass to the shitter. I saw my chance, I walked to the door and opened it to find a swarm of glitter covered whoseewhatits gobbling some snow into their septum ring adorned noses. But you, you were nowhere to be seen in the swarm of white claw induced sexual tension. I thought I heard the distinct sounds of grits through a silly straw in the back stall but I was pushed out by another oncoming of blonde hair and cow boots. If you remember that look I gave you from over my coke and jack glass. Id love to show you how to cast a rod like a real mountain mama.